Pursuit of a Path

Patience has never been my strong suit. And let's be honest, if it was a struggle before high-speed internet, it's really a challenge now. We live in a society where we have instant (or nearly instant) access to everything. It's a point and click kind of world. And all that experience with instant access makes us want instant results. Take for example, the relatively clear goal of physical fitness. *Note: I didn't say easy, I said clear.* I went to my first aerobic class recently (not only my first in a foreign country, but truly my first ever) and I'd be lying if I said the hope of instant toning results never crossed my mind. When we put effort towards something, we want that effort to not have been in vain. Of course, in the case of physical fitness, one time of effort, no matter how intense, is not likely to yield any instant results other than fatigue. It takes repeated effort over a period of time to gain results. And that requires perseverance and the determination of refusing to be lazy. Combine laziness and a lack of patience, and you don't really have a chance.

And if it's hard to be patient in circumstances with a clear path or goal, it's extremely difficult when you can't see the path or haven't determined what the goal is. That is where my life is right now. I'm about halfway through my second year with ESI/TeachOverseas, and the time has come to make a big decision: do I stay for another year or do I return to the U.S.? Last year, it was a relatively easy decision. I knew what my heart wanted, and God confirmed those desires. This year, it is decidedly more complicated. And I'm on a deadline: I have to make my decision official by February 20th. I feel like I know what I need to choose, and up until about a week ago, I was feeling mostly confident of what my decision would be. But now? Now, I'm scared, for that choice would mean a path that I cannot see, and goals that I have not yet made. It would mean certain uncertainty in many areas of my life. And if you know me well, you know that I like to have a plan. If I have a plan, I can know what to expect, at least to a degree. No plans = expectations of mass chaos and probable regret.

You might be asking, why is this year's decision so complicated? That's a good question. Here are some reasons:

*Student loans: I can't keep deferring them much longer. But I don't make enough money to pay on them with my job here.

*Job: I have absolutely no idea what I would do for a job in the U.S. and I feel rather unqualified for most everything. And I kind of need a job to pay back those loans...

*Address: The chances are very, very good that my parents will move, if not to another city or state for a new job, at least to a smaller house. I can't quite apply for jobs if I don't know what my address will be. And I would surely be living with my parents again for awhile to build up savings.

*Relationships: While my parents and dog are a big draw back home, most of my friends there have lives of their own now with spouses and/or children to tend to. Here, I have a wealth of friends and other people near my age to spend time with.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both leaving and staying. No matter what I choose, it won't be a complete win. It will be extremely bittersweet. And just thinking about that breaks my heart. So right now, in the days that remain of my decision-making, I am in pursuit of two things. First, a path. Second, peace that will accompany that path.

I have neither of those yet, but I do have hope. I was given a new devotional back in July. To give you some background, I was angry and frustrated when I received it, and out of some sort of rebellion, I refused to read it right away. I took it back to Czech with me, but put it in a poor location where it wasn't easily visible. In my defense, I originally thought it was a great location... Anyway, I didn't start reading it until late December. In that pivotal moment, I saw it and felt a strong pull to open it, if only to read the introduction. It was late at night, and I had an early morning line-up of difficult classes, and after seeing that the intro was more than a few pages long, I almost put it down. But I felt something spiritual at work, as if God wanted me to read it and Satan was trying to keep me from it by attacking my laziness. So I purposefully started reading the introduction to a devotional by Sarah Young, entitled "Jesus Calling." It was much more interesting than I had imagined it to be, and about halfway through it, I found something I'd been looking for (yet not actively pursuing) for years: a bible verse to claim as my own. Everything I'd seen that I'd liked was either someone else's or a verse that is often taken out of context and/or has become overused and cliche. Well here was one that spoke directly to my soul. Isaiah 55:12 "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace." Finding that verse made the score 1 to 0. Satan was losing, but he hadn't given up the battle. As I finished reading the intro, I thought that I might as well read the devotional for the day. That's where Satan stepped in once again and said, "But Ashley, this devotional starts in January. It's practically the end of December, so you can just put it off for a few days and start it neatly at the beginning with the new year." His argument made logical sense, and I almost gave in. But I sensed the continuing battle and delighted in the opportunity of not only obeying God, but annoying Satan by reading the message for that day. I had just started to truly ponder this decision before me, and so not only was it encouraging then, it is applicable and encouraging now.

Here it is. December 21:

My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when the time is right, the way before you suddenly clears--through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift. You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.

Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles--and you will. Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly. Living by faith, rather than sight, enables you to see My Glory.

More recent hope I've found for making this decision and surviving the aftermath is yet another message from this devotional. February 1:

Follow me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time/world. You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.

Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.

If you look at the name of this blog, you will notice it is called "Walking by Faith: Giving God the Wheel and Learning to Sit in the Passenger's Seat." I gave it that name in 2010 as I signed up to live overseas and teach English in a country that I had just recently learned the location of. I knew nothing about teaching. I knew zero Czech language. I didn't even know my teammates yet. Everything ahead of me was uncertain, so the name seemed to fit perfectly. Now, as I get ready to make a decision that could very easily toss me out of my comfort zone again, this blog's name reaffirms itself again.

Like I said, I neither have a path nor peace about the decided path yet, but I do have hope. Hope that comes from my faith that God will lead me in this decision and in the result. Of course, that means trusting Him and choosing to LET HIM LEAD instead of trusting in myself. Once again, I must be intentional about walking by faith and not by sight.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy...and Starbucks.

It took me a long time to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I listened to Christmas music (not until December, mind you). I visited Christmas markets in three different countries. I watched Christmas movies. I sang English carols with a choir for an advent service at the church I attend. I drank hot chocolate spiked with peppermint schnapps. Still no cigar. It was strange and confusing, and suddenly, Christmas was a day away. I thought, "I'm not prepared for this. I'm not emotionally or spiritually ready." Part of the reason was definitely due to missing family. I figured that the second year being away during the holidays would be easier, but truth be told, I've missed my family a lot more this year. We'd had a brief glimmer of hope that they might be able to come visit over Christmas, but it didn't work out, which was disappointing. I'd kept my schedule open in the event that they could come, so I was without plans, which probably didn't help my lack of Christmas spirit.

But as usual, God provided, and I had the opportunity to spend Christmas Eve with my roommate, Shelly, at the home of our office secretary and her family. We ate cabbage soup, potato salad, fried chicken schnitzel, and possibly the best salmon I've ever sampled. Traditionally, Czechs eat carp instead of salmon, but the secretary's husband and son don't like it. From what I hear, it's a very bony fish. We sang Czech Christmas carols around the table and had conversations in Czechlish. Then we opened presents and relaxed in the living room with mandarins, Czech Christmas cookies, peanut butter fudge (courtesy of my roommate), and silly youtube videos. It was wonderful. Shelly and I spent the night and we all went to church together in the morning. After the service, a group of about 9 young people from church (including myself) joined the pastor and his family for Christmas lunch in their home (conveniently located inside the church building). We ate way too much food and talked about various Christmas traditions in our families and different parts of the world.

Shelly and I in front of the Christmas tree at our host's house on Christmas Eve.

The next day, I started a holiday adventure, beginning with a 7.5 hour journey by train to Cheb (a small city on the other side of the Czech Republic) with Shelly to see a mutual friend who lives and teaches there, also with ESI. The following day, we went on a trip to Nuremberg, Germany together, as it was only about 2 hours away by train. It was a beautiful place, and of course, I took the opportunity to delight in a caramel macchiato from Starbucks, which you can see in the photo above.

The next day, we took yet another trip. This time, we went to the famous spa-town of Karlovy Vary. Wow oh wow, this place was just breathtaking. Now, if you're not familiar with spa towns, these are places where of course, you can get various spa treatments done. But, the main thrills here are the many natural hot springs, which supposedly have numerous health benefits if you drink the water. The water is free and there are plenty of places to buy specially decorated "sippy cups" for consumption of the water. Since I was the newbie on the trip, the girls let me pick out a cup, which they purchased for me. Of course, there was a catch: I had to try the water from all the springs. Let me just tell you, it was...something. The best way to describe the taste is like a warm liquid penny. Just delicious. My friends captured this magical moment on video, but I don't currently have access to it, so I will upload it at a later date. Until then, here is a picture of us on one of the bridges in the city.

One sip of each spring was quite enough, and my roommate was sure to take a picture of every drinking point. By the time we reached the last spring, I decided that it might be the best out of all the ones I'd tried, so I decided to get a cup-full for any potential health benefits. As we left, I took a big gulp, of which my taste buds instantly rejected. Sorry Karlovy Vary, but I will not be coming back to visit for the sake of drinking your water. I would however come back to enjoy the scenery and giggle at the name of Grand Hotel Pupp (pronounced "poop").

Before leaving Ostrava, I'd contacted a good friend in Germany to see if it would be possible to see each other after the trip in Cheb, while we would be somewhat closer in proximity. I packed extra clothes on the off chance that it would work out, and let me tell you, my backpack was stuffed to the max. (Packing light is not my strength, so I was quite proud.) During the course of the time in Cheb, I found out that it was indeed possible. So on the 29th, I left my friends in Cheb and traveled 6 hours by train to Berlin to visit Claudia Weigel. Oh my goodness. Berlin is amazing. If you ever have a chance to travel anywhere in Europe, go to Berlin. It is an amazingly historical and modern city at the same time. And if you're addicted to American coffee, you'll be right at home. I've never seen more Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts shops in my life. Seriously, it was almost comical. And yes, I did partake in some other Starbucks favorites during my stay :-) I've gotta say, it was nice to not miss out on their gingerbread latte this year.

Claudia showed me around Berlin, took me to the 34th European meeting of Taize (literally thousands upon thousands of young people gathered to worship and pray in multiple languages), and then we got to spend New Year's Eve together. It was a wonderful time with such a great friend, and it was amazing to experience such a vibrant city. I was half tempted to just stay there forever. Unfortunately, I don't speak a lick of German... I headed home to Ostrava on the 1st, and for a 9-hour journey, it wasn't too bad. I spent the first 6 hours with two Australian guys who were on holiday between their first and second year in university, and it was great to have someone to talk to. We even played cards for awhile. Such foreigners :-)

Claudia and I with one of the Berlin bears stationed around the city. This one was inside the train station.

And now it's 2012. How crazy is that? And so I leave you with this quote from Grey's Anatomy: "We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?"

don't get too comfortable.

the comfort zone is a dangerous place. in this zone, it's easy to become robotic, simply going through the memorized habits and motions.

i was quickly reminded of this about a month and a half ago when my teaching schedule was thrown for a loop. one week, i was in my comfort zone, teaching mostly small or individual classes of adults, with just two classes of 11-12 year-old children to challenge me. things were simple. the next week, it was a whole new ballgame in which most of my classes were wiped out to be replaced by teaching at a primary school in a nearby town. all children. all day. twice a week.

i hadn't taught any children at all until this year. needless to say, i was praising God for the few weeks of "practice" i'd been given with the two children's classes that were in my original schedule. to go from teaching small classes of adults and a few teenagers to classes ranging from 13-20 students ages 8 and up is quite a change, and i've decided that teaching children who don't speak your language is near the top of the list of ways to test my patience.

the past month and a half definitely hasn't all been smooth sailing, and i'll freely admit that there have been multiple times where i've wanted to throw up my hands in defeat, break down in tears, or do a combination of both. however, the good moments have definitely outweighed the bad, and i'd like to share a few of the heartwarming and/or entertaining moments with you.

*word at the school has quickly spread that i am the native english speaker, and whenever i walk down the halls, students that i've never taught say hello in english (though quite sheepishly, much to my amusement). the students who i have taught are often much more confident and animated, and many of them practically shout, "hello, ashley!" better yet is when i walk into my 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grade classes, and the students light up like christmas trees and excitedly shout my name. even if they act like stinkers in class, it's nice to know that they appreciate my presence.

*on the first day of teaching the 7th class, there was a group of boys near the back who weren't paying attention. i walked back to them, crossed my arms, gave them the stink eye, and told them that i wouldn't move until they had answered one of the questions in the activity we were doing as a class. of course, they gawked at me like i was speaking chinese. one of them finally spoke up, so i moved on. later on though, they were being quite loud and distracting, so i shouted, "ticho, prosim!" (quiet, please) in their direction. these students didn't know that i could speak and understand some czech, and the boys' jaws practically hit the floor while all the girls stood up and clapped.

*i teach a few after-school classes, where there is no czech teacher to supervise. since it's only me, the children often lose their incentive to behave and end up driving me crazy. two of the classes contain multiple hyper-active children, so i've found that providing a word search or scramble can often help them to focus. when they finish the exercise, they come up to my desk to have me check it and give them a grade. even though it's not technically for a grade, it gives them great pleasure when i put a 1 at the bottom, which is the best grade possible. but of course, the grade isn't enough. they also want me to sign it. one week when doing this, the students decided that i was a celebrity and practically attacked me in a mad attempt to get my signature. they had me sign random papers, exercise books, hands, and even one boy's wallet. i'm sure their parents were pleased that i refused to sign their foreheads.

*in another after-school class, there is a set of two boys that always stay behind to help clean up the classroom. they typically just wipe down the chalkboard, but yesterday they even took to straightening the rows of desks (in a slightly OCD-manner, i might add).

*last week, when my public children's class (held at the fishnet office) was over, one of my students came up to me and handed me a picture she had drawn of me. my heart definitely smiled in thankfulness at the sweet gesture. and how fitting, as our lesson was on thanksgiving. i have posted the picture below in hopes that it will bring a smile to your heart too :-)

pursuit of purity

many years ago, i decided that i wanted to remain physically pure until i got married. my parents even bought me a purity ring to symbolize my goal.

flash forward to the present, and while i may still be physically pure, my mind is anything but. with the help of public schooling and questionable film and television content, i am no longer naive. the fact of the matter is, once you see or hear something, you can't unsee or unhear it. it's physically impossible. whether the original seeing or hearing was intentional or not, the devil has a way of using this questionable content and numbing us to its influence. eventually, we are so comfortably numb that we see no issue with what once would have at least brought up a red flag.

i'm not sure what it was, but something this summer woke me up and made it impossible to remain comfortably numb. i'm tired of my purity ring being just jewelry that i wear, with no true symbolism anymore. i'm tired of catching myself thinking that i'm somehow holier than people who have had premarital sex or children out of wedlock. basically, i'm tired of lying to myself about my purity (or lack thereof), so i've decided to create a new symbol.

the ring finger of the left hand has special significance because it's where we place the wedding ring. since marriage is one of my biggest dreams, i look at this empty finger of mine a lot. therefore, i decided that this was the perfect place for my new symbol: nail polish. i can imagine what you must be thinking. nail polish? really? it might seem ridiculous, but you know what? it works. having this one nail painted over the past month has truly helped me to guard myself against tempting my purity. not only that, since having only one nail painted is unusual, it makes people curious, which allows me to share what i'm doing and have people hold me accountable.

my goal is no longer simply to remain physically pure until marriage. instead, i'm focusing on holistic purity: purity of the heart, body, and mind. as i've recently learned, true purity encompasses every aspect of one's life. abstinence is only one aspect. my heart and motives must be pure as well. really, i'm only lying to myself about my strive for purity if my mind is full of worldly and lustful thoughts. neither can i truly claim to be pure if my heart contains jealousy and covets the marriages or romantic relationships of others.

yes, i struggle with being content in my singleness (especially as friends left and right are getting married or engaged), but i don't have to struggle alone. God knows what i need (which is perfect, because half the time, i don't even know what i want, much less what i need). in this waiting period, i will pursue holistic purity and take comfort in that i serve the author of time.

Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

2 Timothy 2:2: Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Psalm 51:10: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Traveling Mercies

4-hour drive to Chicago. 8-hour flight to Frankfurt. 5-hour layover. 1-hour flight to Prague. 4-hour train ride to Ostrava. Miscellaneous time in between? Priceless.

It's official--I'm back in Czech! There are so many things I want to share with you, but first off, I want to share about the journey. Even though I've been a Christian for most of my life, I'm still amazed at how God provides. He truly knows exactly what we need at every moment of our lives (which is good, because usually I don't know what I want, much less what I need). Though I've traveled to and from Czech before, I've never done it completely on my own, so the few days leading up to my departure last week were a bit nerve-wracking. I knew what to do in theory, but from what I've experienced these past 23 years, reality can pan out quite differently. Not to mention, I've found that saying goodbye does not get easier the more you do it. At least not for me.

Thankfully, God blessed me with amazing parents, who were so thoughtful as to drive me to Chicago and thus decrease my travel time by one less run through security. Though it was an inconvenience for them, it definitely helped to lessen my stress (minus the saying goodbye part...that part gets me every time). After getting to my gate, which for the record, was much too small for all the passengers planning to board a flight across the ocean in a large metal tube, I managed to get twenty minutes of free Wi-Fi, a.k.a. hello Facebook! During this magical twenty minutes, I found out that a friend and student of mine was going to be in Prague the next day as well. Yes, Martin, I'm talking about you :-) I planned to call him when I arrived at the airport just as my free Wi-Fi said goodbye.

How do you pass the time at an airport gate when your access to internet is cut off? Do you sleep, listen to music, find the nearest bathroom, or...God forbid, talk to other passengers? Now, some of you may have a hard time believing this, but while my father can talk to strangers for hours, I'm the shy one. In fact, after a year of rarely making small talk with strangers (as is usual in Czech culture), I found it quite difficult to involve myself in typical American small talk this summer. For a moment? Fine. But for an extended period of time with a stranger? Strange and uncomfortable.

Well, I don't remember how it happened, but I actually managed to start talking with the two passengers nearest to me. One was a woman headed back to Jordan, where she'd been living for the past ten years with her husband and three children doing ministry with a Christian organization. We didn't have a chance to talk for long, but that brief interaction alone was so encouraging!The other woman next to me lived in Phoenix (just 30 minutes north of my grandparents that I visited this summer) and was heading home to Algiers to visit family. We ended up watching each other's stuff during bathroom visits to preserve our seats in the packed-full gate area.

Once on the plane (praise the Lord, I had an aisle seat!) I was seated next to a friendly German woman and her son who were heading home with her other two sons and Canadian husband. I don't remember who struck up the conversation first, but she was fascinated by how an American could live and work in a foreign country and wanted to know all the details of how I got to Czech, what I was doing there, how it compared with America...the whole nine yards. When I started sharing about how my job is a ministry, I was worried that it might stop our conversation right in its tracks. However, not only did that not happen, but the woman actually wanted to know more! She asked how my students responded to my faith, especially with such a low percentage (1.8%) of professed believers in Czech. It was so encouraging to speak with someone from a different country who shared my faith and could see both the perspective of a Christian and a non-believer in terms of my ministry.

I didn't manage to get any sleep on the 8-hour flight due to my previously mentioned conversation and a lovely touch-screen multimedia center on the back of the seat in front of me (hello on-demand movies, tv shows, map with flight status, and games galore). Once in Frankfurt, I didn't have to change terminals or go through through any security checkpoints other than a quick glance of my passport at passport control, which made for a very relaxed morning. My Lufthansa gate even had an area with newspapers and a free coffee machine that treated me to two surprisingly delicious latte macchiatos during my 5-hour layover. The 1-hour flight to Prague was practically over before it started, and suddenly I was grabbing my luggage and making my way to the shuttle that would take me to the train station for the last leg of my journey. Boy was I glad to only have one suitcase.

Once at the train station, though getting there through construction in downtown Prague was quite precarious, I had the privilege of meeting Martin for a short while. It was so nice to see a familiar face after such a long trip. The usually difficult process of getting my luggage (in this case, 50 lbs. worth) up the steep steps of the train and out of the way once a seat has been found was made much easier due to 1. two women who pushed my bag up from the platform as I attempted to pull from on board the train, and 2. a seat just inside the door with plenty of space for my suitcase to sit right next me against the empty wall. Hooray! The hardest part was over. Since it was a Wednesday, the train wasn't packed full, which made for a much more relaxing time. I even managed to sleep for an hour. When it was finally my stop, a friendly Ostravian even offered to carry my suitcase down the steps for me. What a nice chap. But the nicest surprise was that the escalator from the platform to the main walkway (as opposed to at least 30 stairs) was actually working for once! Hooray! I wanted to kneel down and thank the Lord right there, but since there was a line, I sufficed for a silent thank-you while riding it instead.

My fellow city-teammate, Jess, met me upstairs and was kind enough to let me stay with her for the night since my flat was completely void of life, and more importantly, food. She provided dinner, a bed to sleep in, and pancakes the next morning. What a pal. I'm so blessed to have four other teammates here in Ostrava. I can't imagine living here completely on my own. God made us to have relationships and live in community. He made us to need human companionship. And during my journey and the past week, He has certainly provided it!

Now that I've written quite a novel of an entry, I think it's safe to say that I could boil down all previous paragraphs to two main points.

1. I made it to Ostrava safe and sound.

2. God is so good!

Year One

Packing today. Prague tomorrow. Home on Thursday. Wow. I can't believe my first year is over. Looking back on what life was like exactly one year ago brings to mind a particular word: CHANGE. While it feels like the year has flown by, so much has happened, and so many changes have occurred. Some are silly, some are serious. I don't think I can manage listing them all, but here is a snippet:

*I learned to survive without both air conditioning and ceiling fans. It wasn't easy. It still isn't.

*I can now kill bugs with my bare hands. Only small ones, but hey, that's something.

*I built meaningful relationships with students, other teachers, and youth from church and Young Life. I'm so glad to have another year with them. I really can't imagine saying final goodbyes right now.

*After one year without a car, I've all but forgotten how to drive. Let's just say that I'll be practicing my parking skills in the nosebleed section of the parking lot.

*I mostly overcame my fear of lighting matches thanks to the gas stove in our flat. It's still a little scary, but hey, progress is progress.

*I learned how to teach and managed to not bore my students to death! :-D

*I met my four teammates and learned how to live with them while loving them. We had our ups and downs throughout the year, but overall, I feel so blessed to be part of their team. I love you, girls!

*I learned how to use and rely on various public transportation systems. Boy, will I miss those in America. I rode my first train in August and have ridden them countless times since then. Such a convenient way to travel.

*I taught my first workshop...to teachers, no less! Yes, I felt totally unqualified, but it was a good learning experience.

*I developed a love for Czech people, especially youth. I never thought I would want to work with youth, and now I spend my spare time on weekends volunteering with Young Life.

*I learned how to speak some Czech. Since I teach English and live with other Americans, I don't think I'll ever be even close to fluent, but at least now I can confuse telemarketers when they call during dinner :-D

*I became very aware of how important it is to appreciate the little blessings every day, especially during the gray and depressing winter.

*Living in Czech has taught me to be more comfortable with myself. I can now go about my day without wearing a stitch of makeup, and it's such a relief.

*I went a whole year without using a dryer for freshly-laundered clothes. At first, I thought I'd die of S.U.S. (starchy underwear syndrome), but I've actually come to appreciate our humble drying rack.

*I learned a whole heck of a lot about myself, and some things were hard lessons to learn. However, I am grateful that God is continuing to shape and mold me into the person He wants me to be. I am continually amazed that while He doesn't need me at all, He still wants to use me. He has given me such a heart for ministry, and I feel so blessed that He chooses to use me in spite of myself.

This year has been quite a ride and I'm excited to see what God has in store for year two. Thank you to everyone who made my first year in Czech such a success. Friends and family (and dog!) at home, I'm so stinkin' excited to see you! To all my Czechsters, I love you and I'll see you in September!

P.S. Here's a picture for your viewing pleasure. It's of the main square in Krakow, Poland on a rainy night during Easter weekend.

it's the final countdown

one more month. that's it. my classes will be officially over as of 9:30 on friday morning. at that moment, a whole school year of teaching will be complete. wow. i will probably engage in some kind of happy dance to celebrate surviving my very first year of teaching.

after classes are over, there will be preparation for english week and english camp, hopefully some time for relaxation and a bit of exploring, and then english week during the last week of june and english camp during the first week of july. after that, i'll have a few days to recuperate, pack, clean, and say "see you in the fall" before boarding a plane to head back to indiana.

july 14th. that's the day. i'm lucky enough *insert sarcasm here* to head out on a 6am flight. i have a three and a half hour layover in frankfurt, a super long flight in which i'm praying for an aisle seat, another hour and a half layover in chicago, and then i arrive at the ft. wayne airport around 4pm. it's going to be one long day, but i'm excited to see my parents and celebrate with some delicious mexican food :-D i'm almost as excited about guacamole, chips & salsa, margaritas, and fried ice cream as i am about seeing my parents. just kidding ;-) mom and dad, you're definitely at the top of my list of what and who i'm looking forward to.

it's quite possible that i will be in a traveling-induced coma for the next few days after i arrive, but once that's over, i am planning to see some wonderful friends, reunite with my church family, enter a cooking/baking frenzy, attend a wedding, gawk at the bling of my newly-engaged friend (yes, amanda prior, i'm talking about you :-D), and see how long i can hug my dog for without him going stir-crazy.

i'll only be home for about a month and a half, and i'm already trying to figure out how i can do it all. there are grandparents i'd like to see in other states, boy meets world marathons/dance parties/baking extravaganzas to have with amanda, huntington friends to visit, favorite eateries to dine at... and by golly, i'm going to try my hardest to squeeze it all in to that time.

boy oh boy, i'm excited. but it's also bittersweet. yes, i'm coming back to ostrava next year, so i don't really have to say any goodbyes (which is good, because i really can't imagine doing that right now), but things will be different next year. i will have some of the same students, but some will be new, friends will leave for universities outside of ostrava, and some friends will actually be leaving for a year in america. some changes will be good while others will be hard to adjust to. i really can't say what next year holds in store other than change and hopefully growth. i hope to continue to grow as a teacher, as a friend, as a roommate and teammate, and of course as a Christ-follower. i hope to continue building the relationships i've already started here and also begin new ones.

that's all for now. to my friends, family, and dog at home, i love you, i miss you, and i'm so very excited to see you. to my friends here in czech, thank you for making my first year here such a successful and joyful time. i love you all and i am very happy for the opportunity to spend another year with you. it's an understatement to say that i'm excited to see what next year holds in store :-)