Monday, May 17, 2010

and this is how it feels...

i graduated from college on saturday, and the classic "graduation song" by vitamin c was on repeat in my head no matter how many times i tried to shut it off. sure, it's a bit ridiculous, but it was relevant. if you're unfamiliar with the song, or simply need a refresher, visit youtube.

being done with college is such a strange feeling. four years just doesn't quite seem long enough. i'd be perfectly happy if we had four years of normal classes and then one year to relax, play with friends, and simply figure things out. unfortunately, the piece of paper (aka diploma) i received on saturday was expensive enough with just four years on my tab.

now it's time to move on. am i ready? in some ways, yes. but in other ways, no. by all means, i'm glad to be done with papers, exams, and presentations. that part of the college experience wasn't exactly the most entertaining aspect. it's nice to be able to read books for fun now, instead of studying textbooks and wishing that i could learn via osmosis. however, it was unnerving to pack up all my stuff and know that i wouldn't be moving it all back in after the summer. side note: isn't it crazy how much junk one can accumulate over the course of four years? i'm attempting to break my bad habit of keeping everything "just in case."

currently, i'm sitting in my room with boxes and bags littering the floor, and i'm wondering what to do with all of it. what do i keep? what needs to go? each item has at least one memory attached to it, which is why it's so hard to just throw something away, even though i know deep down that i'll never need to use it again. if i hold onto everything, it makes it that much harder to move on with life. i'm learning that i can't keep everything from the past. not only does it weigh me down, but it makes it difficult to press forward. God gave our human minds a great capacity for filing memories. for example, just because i finally throw away those notes from high school (yes, i still have some...don't judge me) doesn't mean that i'll forget the experiences i had in those classes. perhaps if i take the time to de-clutter my life at least a little bit, focusing on the present and the future will be easier. plus, it will make navigating my room much less dangerous :)

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